Long story short I don’t feel like I deserve romance in my life yet. I feel like I got nothing to offer. I have felt this way for most of my life. Even though I have developed plenty of hobbies (I dance, skateboard, climb, go to the gym, etc.) and social circles. On one hand I am happy with myself and on another I feel like I can’t offer the other party anything, romance wise.

Normally others would say ‘You’ll find someone dont’cha worry ‘bout notin’ ya’hear?’ But I am at a point now where I hope a woman will not develop feelings for me because I am afraid of disappointing her. And through the years this only been getting worse. I know this is not a good way of thinking but I just can’t shake it.

I want to (mentally) change but I just don’t know how. So if anyone has got some tips for me (really anything goes) that might help I would very much appreciate it.

Note: I don’t care if the process of learning self love is slow, I just want to know what the process involves.

Edit: I am reading some great suggestions. So thank you all for that. Just as a reminder, I am not expecting people on the internet to fix my problems. Just some general, rule of thumb, tips (and or tricks).

  • spicy pancake@lemmy.zipEnglish
    6·
    3 days ago

    I would also like to overcome this

    not even for myself. because my roommate is on a mission to get me a girlfriend and I don’t feel capable of loving myself let alone another person and it’s driving me nuts

    • AskewLord@piefed.socialEnglish
      4·
      3 days ago

      it’s ok to want to be alone. you might even be happier alone than a relationship.

      this idea that everyone must be the same is so weird. like, think about how messed up this would be if he was trying to push his religion on you?

    • alternategait@lemmy.worldEnglish
      2·
      3 days ago

      My guess is that your roommate finds you admirable and thinks that you probably ought to be in a relationship more than a lot of other people.

      • alternategait@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        3 days ago

        But I agree with askewLord, it’s fine to prefer to be alone. It’s fine to prefer it just because it’s your preference or because there’s no good matches for you around.

        • spicy pancake@lemmy.zipEnglish
          1·
          3 days ago

          she means well :] i think she’s worried that my being single is contributing to my depression. maybe it is? i don’t feel like it is but who knows

          i feel like the main thing contributing to my depression is not having a full time job lol