Me (13 years old at the time): Dad, Mom’s cheating on you. I saw her making out with this man.
Dad: Listen here, princess. The guy’s filthy rich, and when you have money, it’s normal to have a hot mistress like your mom.
Me: But aren’t you jealous?
Dad: laughs
I was flabbergasted, lmao.
The Aunt that never finished elementary school once told me:
“I don’t believe in evolution, because I didn’t believe a baby could be born smarter than its parents”
I was 10-13 years old at the time and just didn’t have the patience to deal with that level of stupid.
My coworker once started a conversation by casually asking if I’d ever “done anything” with a cousin. Obviously the conversation ended with him revealing he’d fucked his cousin and me saying WTF progressively louder and louder for at least a minute. I work from home now.
And you live with your cousin, right?
That doesn’t sound like cheating, that’s more like an open relationship. He knew about it and didn’t care.
Not necessarily unhinged, per se, but I knew a former very high ranking military IED specialist who would sweep the white house and places where the president would be going to before they showed up, every chance he got he bare ass farted on the Bush’s pillows.
He ended up being a pretty shitty guy, but I’m still going to give him Chad points for that one.
I had someone tell me on a first date that they’ve been in love with their younger sister since they were teenagers. There was no second date.
“Stop thinking so much”
- random professor walking by me
I had a psychologist tell me at 13 that boys my age shouldn’t be interested in sex.
My mom suggesting that I take meth for a common cold because “the body would be sped up and burn the germs out” was pretty up there.
Was your mom born in the first half of the 19th century? If you grew up with heroin as a cough medicine, taking meth for a cold suddenly sounds reasonable.
No but she was actually born addicted to heroin cos my grandma was shooting up while pregnant. She was immediately taken by the state when she was born so she’s not all there
Well, at least you have a realistic grasp on your situation. Good luck navigating above it.
I think I’ve heard more unhinged things that the one I’m about to mention, but the others are from drunk randos making shit up or over sharing I don’t know. The one that really hit me is not as crazy but it still pisses me off to this day and it is far more serious than that drunk guy telling me about how he used to masturbate on the backseats of all buses he could get into.
I’ve had an issue with my legs since birth, nothing bad and in fact went unnoticed most my life. Just how my knees are built. Never caused a problem until in my twenties I started getting into the gym. A bad trainer (student doing practice) in a gym recommended me some exercise after I asked for something to change the routine. Long story short, I fucked up my knees, even longer story shorter, a doc specialized in legs and specifically knees told me my options, from which the most reasonable at the time was surgery. Surgery for both knees, 1 first, then recovery then the other. A total of two year plan for it.
Mind you the problem was a physical one about the angle of the bones in my knees. A long time friend of my parents, who works as a researcher and teacher of biology in the university of my city called for whatever reason and my mother told of my leg problem.
This person decided that it was excruciatingly important to ask that the phone is passed to me, to tell me not to go to surgery. Risky, dangerous, and completely unnecessary, when I can have a completely safe alternative. Take some homeopathy pills they said, that will get your knees fixed without issues. I was so shocked coming from that person… Mind you I was in my twenties, so not an entire idiot, and I knew a bit about homeopathy… Having read “bad science” by Ben Goldacre (highly recommended by the way) and got into a spiral of alternative shit and research on the stupidest things people get into. I even have an official diploma from Boiron that they basically gave to anyone who cared to answer some answers right about homeopathy back in the day and that it was incredibly easy to hack (wrong answer? Click back and you could try again, in fact the points for the diploma were stored in plain sight in a cookie that never got reset, I ended up with like 120 points out of 50, there were only 5 questions by the way). No security needed as it had no fucking value like the rest of homeopathic stuff. Or is it less security means more secure in homeopathic terms?
Any way, I’m getting derailed, this fucking person tries to sell me into the homeopathic shit to fix the angle of my knees… I was so shocked I couldn’t even answer. Just said “okbye”, gave the phone away, and asked my parents to never ever put me in the same room with that idiot. It’s been manybyears now and so far I’ve succeeded in avoiding ever seeing or hearing of that person.
New copypasta just dropped.
I’m not sure I catch your meaning. You think I copied this? Or that what I wrote is going to become a copypasta? Because the first one isn’t true, and the second one, I just don’t see it happening. It is just a personal anecdote that i doubt would ever really be of any interest for it to become meme material.
It was a compliment. I found it long windedly funny.
Ah, sorry! Thank you then :) the meaning went completely over my head
I own a bar and before we opened I reached out to one of those novelty vending machine companies that sells weird stuff and gags. The guy came down to meet to discuss the design of the machine etc, super nice guy. His daughter came too, she was an artist and was going to paint the machine. They sent mockups and got to work, everything seemed good to go ahead of our opening.
A week before we open, I reach out to see when they want to install it and I get no reply. I try again a few days later and get a very formal message to the effect of “we’re super sorry but we’re not going to be able to pursue this opportunity at this time, best of luck”. I’m pissed that time was wasted, the machine was finished, I had seen final pictures with our logo and design etc. I figured maybe they got some bigger offer from like the local stadium to install a machine that they couldn’t pass up.
Months go by, I’ve found another company that’s working on a new machine for us. Original guy texts me “hey, are you at the bar, I’d love to stop by and explain what happened.” I start to tell a customer at the bar about what happened and I’m like, I don’t wanna talk to this guy in my mind, and I look up, and he’s standing outside the bar in the rain. He comes in, and he looks like he’s been to hell and back.
He’s so different this time, very soft spoken, tail between his legs vibes. He apologizes and said they had a family issue that prevented them from moving forward, but they working on getting back on track. I feel bad and trying to be empathetic, and then the guy goes, “I’m sorry, but my wife just didn’t want me working with you because of David.”
“Who the fuck is David?” I reply. “David Devolla” he says. I have no idea who he’s talking about. I’ve never met his wife, or this David person. Then he goes “wait, can I ask you a weird question? Are you straight?” “Yeah man…”
“GOD DAMNT, SHE DID IT AGAIN” he said. I’m so confused right now. He then proceeds to tell me that his wife has been battling psychosis and having major mental issues. Apparently, this David guy was her former boss that fired her, and even though I’ve never met her, or David, and am straight, she was convinced I was having a secret gay affair with David and told her husband he wasn’t allowed to do business with me. What the actual fuck. Dude started creeping me out big time. He came in again a week later and told me he was driving to Vegas the next morning to marry his wife because even though he said they were married, they never actually were, and he believed doing so would fix her mental state. I follow them on Instagram still and I can tell you, it did not. She posts the absolute weirdest nonsensical things and it’s honestly entertaining to watch but also sad as hell. Bullet dodged, the new company is so so much better, but yikes all around. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
Marrying someone to fix their issues is a lot like having a kid to save a marriage.
My bio father just passed away. I was talking to his best friend of 45 years, basically his brother, and he casually dropped he was raped as a boy. I had asked about my fathers sister, because a lot of that family is scattered and a mess, the daughter of the sister “something happened” is all I know. And he said molestation, and then that he too, was molested by a man as a boy. I was really proud of the 68 year old mam telling me that.
But fucking, add it to the list. Men need a fucking ‘me too’ because I know so, so, many.
I really hate the idea that rape is just “Something that happens to women”
I’m a trans woman, but when I was sexually assaulted I was an 11 year old boy. Nothing was ever done about it, because it was another boy that did it and “Boys will be boys”
I’m sorry that happened. It’s not boy’s will be boy’s, and it clearly doesn’t just happen to women. It’s important we hear everyone’s story, and hopefully create some meaningful change in society at large.
Oh jeez… heads up: a lot of racism and very vile unhinged shit being described: (seriously, it’s gonna make your blood boil if you read this, last warning):
So my older brother is a racial supremacist and hates black and brown people.
And I already know what you’re thinking when you hear the term “racist”: “must be a white dude in southern rural US”
No, no no no. We are a family of immigrants. We are non-white. We’re from China.
The first time I heard about this was like sometime around 2017 to 2020. My older brother was complaining about African Migrant workers living in China… a country he no longer has citizenship status in… because he went through the US citizenship process to become a citizen of a multi-racial immigrant country…
So… to reiterate: a non-white immigrant is complaining about other races in his ancestral country that he has no citizenship in… let that sink in…
Literally “White Replacement” Conspiracy Theory, but replace the term “White” with “Han Chinese”.
He complains about ethnic minorities in China “getting special privilages” (aka: “affirmative action”) 🧐
So he dislikes CCP, not because of human rights violations against minorities… no no no, not that, but because CCP is “doing too much to help minorities” (in his view at least, whether or not the CCP actually help minorities in reality is a whole another thing)
He believes there’s a secret plan by the CCP to replace China with African Migrants because of the population crisis… so he thinks the government just wanna fill up the loss of population with random foreigners…
And he calls black people “cockroaches” that “keep spreading too much” by “having too many kids”
But guess what: HE FUCKING COMPLAINS ABOUT TRUMP BEING RACIST AGAINST ASIANS 🤦♂️ fucking irony lmfao (he’s a registered Democrat… I’m pretty sure… supports progressive polities when it comes to wealth, but opposes progressive social policies… so… a social conservative but fiscal liberal??? (is that even a term?)
Dude is so fucking lost into conspiracies, they make my parents look like saints. My parents used to be very prejudiced, but eventually come to be more accepting of multi-culturalism and the idea of living in diversity after spending so much time in the US. And now my mom has to be the one to shut down my brother’s bullshit rhetoric he spews in the livingroom.
Oh, also kinda anti-vax about the Covid vaccine, but somehow okay with a tetnaus shot when he stepped on a nail.
And this is this is also the brother that abused me as a child… constantly fighting me… then want to play with me when bored and has no friends to talk to… then wanna fight me and discard me after he uses me.
Seriously idk why he even became a US Citizen…
The only reason he didn’t vote for trump (or so he says, it’s not like I know what he marked in his ballot) is because he isn’t white, had he been born into a white family, he’d totally vote trump.
I’m so glad, I didn’t end up being brainwashed by those insane beliefs, jesus fucking christ.
No idea where the fuck he got that shit from… so fucking vile…
But then again, he was abusing me when I was around 5 or 6… he used zipties to restrain me when he deemed me “annoying”, played with fire at home, maybe his psycopathy is a gene, maybe a gene that luckily I didn’t get? Random mutation?
Idk… my parents aren’t even this vile in their worst moments, must be a random mutation. Or maybe its environment. Or maybe the internet’s fault.
Every post you make makes me wonder how the fuck you’re still alive, my man
The strong sperm won lol
Weird timeline…
I mean I wonder how humanity even survived coldwar…
Heard of Vasily Arkhipov? Stannislav Petrov? What if they weren’t there. Someone else was in control?
We’s be dead.
How the fuck does humanity even exist. Like dozens of “close calls” jesus christ.
My theory is there are 100s of timelines where humanity nuked itself. 100s of timelines where I was never born, or got kidnapped during that “running away” incident, or got murdered by my brother during a fight, or died of suicide.
Sometimes… I wonder if there’s a “plan” for me… if “god” exists… maybe the universe doesn’t let me die.
Like some pre-destination thing. Like how in time travel shows, someone tries to commit suicide but it fails because they are alive in the future so its impossible to die in the past. Like Steins;Gate with Okabe. Or like Final Destination where deaths have to happem in order…
it’s “not my time to die” yet… so death doesn’t let me die till its time.
Just a theory… 🤷♂️
My theory is there are 100s of timelines where humanity nuked itself. 100s of timelines where I was never born, or got kidnapped during that “running away” incident, or got murdered by my brother during a fight, or died of suicide.
From a quantum theory, wave function collapse perspective, that’s as good a theory as any, and it’s also one that that personally subscribe to.
What do you mean by wave function collapse?
Basically it’s related to the uncertainty principle; the cat is both alive and dead until you look inside the box.
Let’s say i’m about to roll a dice. The result of that dice throw is in a state of superposition until it’s thrown. Meaning that until it is thrown, all results exist. And it’s only when the dice is thrown and the result is observed that the wave function collapses to a number from 1 thru 6.
From there, there are two camps of scientists:
One camp believes that all other superpositions dissipate once the roll is made. So if you roll a one, then the universes in which you rolled a 2 thru 6 just kind of evaporate, for example.
The Second camp that believes that all superpositions exist, and branch off into 6 different universes (one where each number was rolled) and they all continue unaware of the other universes existence (Multiverse theory)
Are you sure? This doesn’t sound right
Science is never “sure”. And I’m not a quantum physicist. But that’s the gist of it, yes. I’m not smart enough to know all the details though.
