Even if they’re not difficult, they still feel like a burden, and I’m very worried that I won’t have time to do them or that I’ll forget about them. I either put them off but constantly think about them, or I try to get them done as quickly as possible and get very irritated when something prevents me from doing them. I can never relax if I have things to do, even if they’re not urgent; they’re still a pain in my ass. I don’t know why I feel this way, and I think this is the reason why I avoid difficulties and my life sucks so much.
Use a notebook to write down TODOs. This will get them out of your head. You’ll be at ease knowing they are easily retrievable whenever you have some time for them.
If they need to be done at a particular time, note them down in a calendar (and set up reminders).
Here’s what I do: I work in a field where it’s never ending. Yesterday four people were looking for me while I had a priority. I focused on my priority and I directed them to remote ways to contact me. I put them on my calendar. I have 3 spreadsheets regarding different things to do this month, week, daily. I do my daily priorities and chip away at the spreadsheets in downtime. I never finish. I also don’t think about it for a single second after I leave the building, and I also don’t feel bad. The reason for this is being a human being, only one person, and it can wait but enjoyment and rest will not. YOLO.
This sounds like ADHD and/or anxiety.
A lot of these suggestions are about time management. And I think they’re missing the point. It may not be time management skills that you need, but emotional regulation skills.
I’m not a licensed psychologist, and neither is anyone else here, so for real help I’d recommend talking to a therapist. But I can offer the insight that this comes down to seeking balance. For you, balance is achieved once the to-do list is empty. And that’s going to be never. There will always be work, chores, and little annoyances to deal with. Every day. Forever. So if your definition of balance means that there are none of these, it may be time to rethink your definition of balance. And that’s where working with a professional comes in. In the meantime hopefully this gives you something to think about.
Thank you, I didn’t say I have problems with time management, my problem is that I can’t live normally while I have unfinished business, and this causes me discomfort. Maybe I’m just lazy.
Maybe I’m just lazy.
I believe this statement may be the cause of your discomfort. If you have things to do, and you’re idle, taking a break, a nap, having a meal, or doing something fun, that self talk is going to rear its ugly little head and kill any joy you might be taking in your down time.
So if you’re looking for a more healthy state of being, I’d suggest reflecting on where that comes from. Were you taught that your value is in being constantly productive and that rest is shameful, for example? Find that and learn to quash the influence it has on your self worth. And again, that work is best done with a professional’s help.
You aren’t ever going to run out of things to do. Literally - there will never come a time when everything you could do is done. Some tasks are projects that have a beginning and end, others don’t, they are ongoing work. But in any case there is always more you could do, more than you will be able to do.
Write a list, if you are afraid you will forget. I put reminders in my phone too. Prioritize your list, do the more urgent or important things.
You are not alone. Some of that stress is good. Drives accomplishment. But we need to have clear, achievable milestones. Write it down, and discard anything where you don’t see a clear outcome.
And for me, making my bed in the morning and cleaning the kitchen directly after dinner have always been the biggest mitigations for my “too much shit to do” stress.
One of the important things that you learn over time in a high stress situation is that you can only commit around 70% of your effort before you start burning yourself out.
As in, yes, you can definitely try harder and get more things done, but that can only be done in very short bursts. After a while, you would not be able to bring yourself to do anything. And so, the followup lesson is that you shouldn’t beat yourself up for only committing 70%. Take some time every once in a while to ask yourself: on a scale of 1-10, where 10 is the maximum conceivable amount of effort I can imagine myself giving, how would I rate the amount of effort that I am currently putting in to my work? If your score is 8 or above, then that’s your issue. You’re experiencing burnout.
If you have work piling up but you’re already committing 70%, then you just have to acknowledge that there is more work coming than you can reasonably handle. So what can you do? I don’t really know what your current career status is, so I can’t give solid advice. But you can consider either declining to take on more work or letting some tasks fall to the wayside.
If you are concerned that your 70% effort is noticeably lower than an average person’s 70%, then that’s a different issue altogether. You might just have depression. In which case, talk to a therapist.
The hard thing when you have lot of thing to do, and have no idea where to start. Is to decide that you don’t need a plan, take a task, do-it and then do the next one. Then the other thing is to realise that everything can’t be perfect, that some stuff will be late and other will be barely passing
When I’m overwhelmed I lay off alcohol and pastimes.
It stresses me a lot to have things undone. It even affects my sleep.
It helps to write down everything that needs doing, so that I can detach from thinking about it at night or over the weekend. The note will be there on my desk/fridge in the morning so I don’t forget. Check of the easiest things first to reduce the cognitive load of context-switching.
Slow down. Feels good to not be rushing.
Look into a time management tool.
If something takes more the 5 min it goes in the tool to be scheduled.
Everyone is different, but I just wait until I get that spark and go hard as fuck at the list. Usually I cant muster up the requisite effort, and it makes me feel physically nauseous forcing myself to do housework/self-care, but sometimes I’ll get a good day and the trick is to just keep it going.
When the good day hits, just never stop. I don’t focus on the big picture because that just kills my motivation. I do whatever is in front of me at the moment and I dont stop.
One thing I try to do is to avoid procrastinating. If there is a task to do and I think to myself “I’ll do it later” I then ask myself “will it take more than five minutes”? If the answer is no, then I make myself do it.
I also use an app on my phone to keep a list of chores on a schedule. Having things lingering on the list is annoying, too. But the app allows me to skip or reschedule them. If you are on iOS and need some app like this I recommend PikaPika.
Take your time to organize your tasks, then prioritize them. The decide what has actually such a low priority, that its fine if it doesn’t get done. Then, check how to split the task on time (not full 24/7, but actual work time) and see if it is realistic. If not, you need to communicate that you can’t realistically get it done in that time, and that you need to extend the time to get it done or delegate it to someone else.
Anything else would be unprofessional and not really helping the situation.
Yes.
