Even if they’re not difficult, they still feel like a burden, and I’m very worried that I won’t have time to do them or that I’ll forget about them. I either put them off but constantly think about them, or I try to get them done as quickly as possible and get very irritated when something prevents me from doing them. I can never relax if I have things to do, even if they’re not urgent; they’re still a pain in my ass. I don’t know why I feel this way, and I think this is the reason why I avoid difficulties and my life sucks so much.
As someone who has had a lot of responsibilities thrown onto me way earlier in life than most, I can share what I have learned and what has helped me.
Do note that this is not a one size fits all solution, especially since I don’t know what your day to day looks like, I hope you find something here useful:
• As a few have already said starting with a general to-do list is a great start. Most phones have an app already installed that you can use.
• Prioritize what you need to do first. Life can absolutely get overwhelming very quickly, even when you aren’t quite ready for it. Which can only compound things. If you tackle the most important things first, the smaller things won’t feel as stressful as time passes.
• Set a specific day and time for routine tasks. If you deal with trash and recycling on set days for example, spend 10-20 minutes getting things ready to go to the curb or the dumpster the night before. Rushing the day of only adds more stress. The biggest benefit is you can set a task for specific days, which is absolutely helpful.
• For smaller things: Set a time limit. Spend no more than let’s say 30 minutes to an hour on one task. If you have an overly messy living situation for example; focus on making just one area of a room look the way you want vs dealing with the entire room at once. It may take longer than you want, but the more you get done like this the better you’ll feel.
• Do not be afraid to ask for help. This is a big one that a lot of people, myself included have to get past. You’re only one person and unlike we’re taught, you can’t do everything alone. Especially if you’re overwhelmed and have too much to handle. If you have a task that you find yourself thinking “this would be so much easier/faster if I had someone here” or “I don’t know if I can do this by myself” be sure to find a family member or close friends who will be glad to help you. It absolutely makes a difference.
• Remember that not everything will be under your control. Whether it be a task you need to do, an appointment you have to meet or something else, you may not be able to get the outcome you want with everything you need done. Focus on what you can accomplish first and let the things that require input from others become secondary when you have to wait for that person or group. Followup as often as necessary, but let that ball be in their court. As a last resort if that person or group is unreliable, switch them out.
• Allow yourself time to rest and relax. When life is overwhelming, the idea of taking a break can feel counterproductive and wrong. Remember though that if you don’t, you’ll just burn yourself out. Allow yourself time to go out, exercise, have fun and especially to rest. You’ll be more motivated to tackle things if you have a good work/life balance. Especially if you have a full time job on top of everything else.
That’s really all I can think of for now. I hope you find something here that’s helpful. If I think of anything else I’ll update my post. Good luck!