If you’re having a bad day (like those days where you get up “on the wrong side of the bed” / you just can’t get going), go out of your way to do something kind for someone. It’s a kind of brain hack because your brain has trouble with the cognitive dissonance of “I feel terrible” and “I did this nice thing”, so you will feel better after.

Of course, you can also just do the nice thing whenever you see an opportunity. My general philosophy is that there are so many problems I can’t do anything about, I try to never let a problem I can do something about go by. Even if it’s just something small.

Always go above and beyond to be nice to service workers. Even if they aren’t helpful. Even if they are rude. I promise they had a worse day than you did. You can still ask for whatever you need, but do it politely. Don’t raise your voice. If they are helpful, thank them, and if you can, say something nice about them to a manager.

If I see someone wearing something I like, be it piercings, hair colour, earrings, etc., I will complement them. The smile on their face is worth it.

Remember that every person you meet has their own life going on with their own stress and drama. It makes it easier to be kind to the ones who are not being kind to you. And doing this will help a lot of them to also be kinder to others. It’s a positive feedback loop.

Whenever you have to interact with someone in fast food or retail say “thank you” afterwards.

For me recently, I had the realization that I had the possibility of being very gentle with someone who doesn’t know something (even the smallest thing!). As a kid I’ve had a few traumas related to being shamed/pointed at for not knowing something and the fear of asking stuff is still present today. So I do my best to ease that for other people

Be kind to service workers.

Patience, thank yous, and trying to understand how to make their job easier (e.g. not waiting to look at the fast food menu until you’re at the front).

Short, low stakes practice.

Someone brought this up in another current thread: consider your end goal. What result do you want from an interaction, and how can you act in a way most likely to make that happen?

So often we react in an emotional way, and act like punishing someone else because they behaved inappropriately is the only just response. And i’m not saying you should ignore bad behavior or that no one should experience consequences for their actions. This advice is literally just to consider your options, to determine what course of action will most likely get what you desire rather than what feels good in the moment.

Do small, but good things, that nobody else sees. Pick up trash, fix something, let someone in front of you in traffic, smile and thank your cashier, hold a door for people, give a $5 bill of to an old person panhandling, etc. You will know you are doing positive stuff without credit, and you YOURSELF will recognize that you are a good person, and that will change how you want interact with everyone else. Eventually others will recognize it, too.

When a stranger does something trivial that ticks you off just let it go

Leave a solid 1.5 to 2 car lengths between you and the vehicle in front of you while on the highway. When someone wants to merge into that space, let them and recreate the separation. It’s a kindness not just to those who merge into the space, but to all drivers as it makes travel for everyone safer and lower stress.

I’m telling you, this works. Each day, pause to think of three things for which you are grateful. It can be big or small. Examples that I’ve used: that I got to spend the evening with a close friend who has a typically busy schedule, that I slept especially well the night before, that the book I was reading turned out to be a good one, etc.

Sometimes it’s something profound about how someone positively mentored me when I was younger. Or small stuff like knowing that there’s a piece of cheesecake waiting for me in the fridge. The point is to do it every day. It’s kinda awkward getting going, but then it becomes second nature and they come to mind effortlessly. I am convinced that it’s made me a calmer, nicer, more understanding person.

Im not sure if this will make you kinder but I find many many people skip very easy oportunities to make a small improvement in the world. These things are miniscule but they are things everyone can do all the time. Grab a cart from the lot if you pass one by that is not in a choral as you go to the store. Pick up litter that you pass by and toss or recycle it. I live in a condo complex and if my neighbor have packages that are easy enough to carry I bring them up and put it near their door and they actually now do the same for me. Not only a great convenience for us both but a great little human interaction for us both that makes us closer neighbors. Hold a door for someone, offer a seat on a train. Just keep in mind if you have an oportunity to do something that is scarcly and inconvenience for you but makes the world a better place. I would add smile when you see people. Be nice whenever you can and even return rudeness or such with strangers with kindness. You don’t have to deal with their stuff every day so its easier to be pleasant and move on.

Be gentle with yourself. For example if you make an error, withhold calling yourself stupid, or think it. Reassure yourself that errors happen, and learn from it.

say thank you, please, and etc. basic manners and courtesy to others.

It blows my mind that almost nobody does this anymore. I go to like coffee shops and stores and etc every other day, and basically nobody says this to sales people anymore. It’s insane to me how objectively rude so many people are to other people who are helping them.

it’s so bad that it’s gotten to the point i’ve had people tell me i’m wrong for saying these things to service people. becase ‘it’s their job you shouldn’t have to thank them’ etc.

Put a toy inside of yourself.