A girl. An ultimatum. I left. We’ve been married 26 years.

I win.

My job. After university I couldn’t get a job in my field. So I had to sell my body. Had to move to the other side of the country.

My parents are difficult. Not the worst people and not monsters, but at many times unpleasant.

Plus it was a house in the suburbs. Not ideal for socializing or culture.

And lastly, living with parents in the suburbs would be huge negatives for dating.

My mom sold the house.

I was the youngest of three, and my parents told us all that as long as we were in school (including college), we could stay and they would pay for college. My brothers both got the benefit of this (oldest ended up staying outside of that for a couple years, but whatever).

My dad died in August after my graduation. My mom and aunt had inherited some money from my great-aunt and bought a house together near a college my mom wanted to go to, so she sold the childhood home (that I’d lived in my entire life) and said “good luck.”

Completely understandable, and I’m glad she got to live the life she wanted. She’s a nurse now (mostly retired, can’t seem to make it stick), remarried, and they’re building their own house. And my aunt now lives in the house they bought.

And I’m doing awesome (40s, two kids, wife of 16 years, set to retire in a town in Alaska we love, own our own house), honestly a lot better off than either of my brothers, so I can’t complain about how anything happened, other than wishing my dad was around longer.

Everything reminded me of her. I had to leave

My mom kicked me out when I was 17. She wasn’t mad exactly just had a lot to deal with. My dad had died the year before and she had 3 other kids to deal with and I guess figured I’d land on my feet. That took several years, lol but a satisfying arc I suppose, from desperately poor to quite comfortable. I am in the same city still, in a part of town I like more.

My kids, I let them stay until they want to leave, if there’s room. Between me & my husband we have so many but only 2 left at home, plus a girlfriend of one of them. The couple plans to move into their own place in the summer (we are in winter now) then we will be down to one.

I didn’t live in a house with ‘people who worked there’ and it was small enough that I wanted to be in a different space with friends.instead of hearing everything family members were doing. Might have been different if I grew up in a large house with staff.

I was an atheist, socialist learning, bisexual pacifist in a family of young earth creationists that even in the mid 90s would get frothy mouthed angry at the history of Vietnam veterans being spat at.

I enjoyed learning, my step father hadn’t read a book since he was 17. I wanted to live in a pedestrian friendly city, my parents encouraged me to yell “jap-junk” at people riding japanese motorcycles.

I started learning how to code when I was 10, and my homeschoolimg books were bought from a fundamentalist church in Florida that required memorizing bible verses for math and history class.

It was a choice of leave or suicide.

I left to go to college. Came back when my mother’s life fell apart and she begged for help, so I tried to be the good son. About 6 months after going back I left again because I couldn’t do anything right (as usual), my mother had allowed two different people to drive my vehicles and both times they were wrecked, and she got physical with my girlfriend and I when I put my foot down over anyone else driving a vehicle we were attempting to lease. Ended up having a restraining order against her for my girlfriend that my mother violated a couple times early on.

After a couple years ended up being stuck living with my mother again. Had a child born 3 months premature who passed at 9 days old. He had an intestinal blowout and never stopped bleeding after surgery. His blood gasses were toxic so my wife and I took him off the ventilator. My mother told me I was stupid and should have waited. I was dealing with major depression at the time and my mother unbeknownst to me stopped paying her bills so we ended up homeless together. During this time my mother finally told me the truth about never wanting me her words were “I had my whole life planed out” she went on to talk about her training to become a traveling stripper then said “and then I had you.” The way she said it was full of contempt, she was drunk but let’s be honest that’s generally when the truth really comes out.

Ended up getting away and half way across the country and stayed away from all family members. My mother still tried playing games by contacting the local sheriff’s repeatedly for “wellness checks.” The checks finally stopped at one point but probably because I made sure to make the idea I was living in New York City get to her.

I look back and see a ton of things that she did to me now. When I was around 9 she stored a leaking 5 gallon bucket of paint thinner in my bedroom closet even though there was a basement and detached garage that would have been a better place. I still have no idea what problems that caused.

Went to work at the same big box as mom as a teenager (15) for extra cash. Mom started having an obvious affair right in front of me. Well it wasn’t super obvious (I later learned I was good at observing behavior), but I told Dad. After that she no longer hid her hate for me, blamed me, etc. It was stressful to say the least. I ran away and stayed at a friend/old neighbors house for several months, because dad was a cream puff and it destroyed him, he couldn’t raise anything at that time. I tried going back at 16-17 but the rules were oppressive after living essentially on my own and working, and mom and her boyfriend hated me, so I found a older boyfriend to live with and never returned “home” as I felt like I was basically an adult. 🤦‍♀️

*15-16ish.

I knew my dad and I would kill eachother if I didn’t. Moved out pretty much as soon as I turned 18. It was a struggle but it had to happen. My parents have since divorced and I havent spoken to my father in almost five years. I found out semi recently that my parents agreed to stay together until my sisters and I were moved out. They got divorced a few months after the youngest left. I’m 31 now.

I graduated college and assumed I wasn’t welcome anymore by the fact that growing up it was always made clear that I was allowed to stay as long as I was in school, and that my father and I hadn’t spoken in a few years at that point despite living together (mom was dead by then). Oh also the big binder of my childhood documents that appeared on a table with a note explaining what it was.

I moved in with my then fiancee and her parents in a different state. Got a job closer to home by sheer coincidence about 9 months later right as that relationship was starting to fall apart due to irreconcilable differences.

Ho Chi Minh city was too cramped and hot so I moved to a cold and sparsely populated city called Rovaniemi.

Plus my mom was pretty controlling on many aspect of my life, and studying abroad was one “mom-approved” way to be independent.

It was before Trump ran the first time, but my folks were precursor to MAGA. I was not. I didn’t like having to sit and listen to their hateful opinions of people not like them. So once I had an education and job that made me fully financially independent, I left.

I graduated from high school in a small town and in order to go to college of my choice, I had to move. I could have hung out and commuted to a community college, but I wanted the college experience.

If I had to do it all over again, I’d have stayed at home.