TL;DR: Gained too much weight after I fell and broke my arm + couldn’t really move for a while. I have a lot of trauma related to sports, like I was forced to play football like any other Hungarian kid, and I was awful at it, which made others be angry at me for it, which made me reluctant to do it. Even if I manage to do it, I often get brutal, crippling muscle pain, which makes me fo it even less.
Since I"m Hungarian, I cannot rely on health care at all, especially mental health, as it was the very first thing that got cut, amd I cannot afford private care.
build/obtain a stationary bike.
i hate sports but ill sit on a bike forever… great for heart rate, burnin calories… not really a strength thing though.
you can even make one out of an old busted bicycle, if youre mechanical at all
I have even more trauma with bikes, due to falls and the whole “vehicular cycling” craze.
sounds like you need a therapist more than exercise
Then getting a stationary bike, in the safety of your own home, should be great exposure therapy and allow you to caloriemaxx your output