I mean, there is no meaning in nature, it was man who invented it, and often it appeared because of a scarcity, for example, the point is in a beautiful woman, because you are unlikely to find another one as beautiful, right?, or can you find a person who will support you and accept you as you are, like your loved ones? The examples are not the best, but I hope you get the idea.
In addition, I will say that about a year ago I watched the film “The Seventh Seal”, and now sometimes I feel in the place of a character named Antonius Block. I dismissed the inevitable by refraining from suicide as a teenager, thinking I could find the meaning of life, but what was to be expected, nothing worked out. But especially now, how shall I put it… in the age of AI, it is impossible to escape the truth, self-deception no longer works, at least for me personally.
Chess Game with Death:
Meaning is whatever you want it to be. You have the free will to create your own meaning in your life.
That being said, reading your post, I mean no disrespect, but please seek professional help. This goes beyond “finding your own meaning” and dives into “something is wrong”.
I agree with this.
The general surface level answer to your question is, we have the opportunity to invent our own meaning and purpose in life, and fulfill it the way we wish.
But the real response to your question is, please talk to a professional about this, you need help.