I wouldn’t allow them to have a phone at all until they’re around 12 to 14 (just like my parents). When it comes to the internet on a computer, the same thing would apply, but they can when supervised. If possible, their only web browser on their internet device will have uBlock Origin installed with custom block lists to prevent them from accessing websites they aren’t supposed to. I would also like software (whether I’d have to program it if it doesn’t exist or not) to prevent them from using their devices at bedtime. Not a father, but those are the basics of what I’d imagine I do. Expect one last thing: Roblox is completely out of the question. I don’t care how much they beg. It’s a predator nightmare so it would be completely banned

No access until teenagers. If it was like when I was a kid probably younger but it’s so fucked rn

Limited time and very limited access to content, only content that is age appropriate.

Use the device’s parental controls to limit apps, downloading, purchases, sites, hours available and total time allowed. Doesn’t matter if it’s a phone, tablet, or PC. LAN parental controls if available as a secondary layer of site blocking and overall internet blocking at internet curfew time.

Been doing this for years. It’s a must. Parents are responsible for limits on mobile devices and content. Having the software do the limits is far, far easier than physically demanding the phone from the kid, shutting it off, or looking over their shoulder to see what they’re using it for.

No unsupervised access to any techno-gizmo until they’re like 7 or 8, besides a dumb phone to call me or mom or watching me play/do things, maybe play together sometimes or limit it to formative things. Ain’t no hypothetical child of mine gonna be raised by an iPad and cocomelon, and since I don’t necessarily trust other parents to raise their kids decently I would get them a dog or 2 to play and bond with.

Then, once they start being old enough I will give them their own tower computer, obviously with Linux, privacy-redirects, limited access to the internet (I’m mostly gonna let them access games, wikipedia and stuff that is formative) and their access to YouTube is gonna be via FreeTube with channels I think they’d benefit from watching as already subscribed (plus whatever interest I know they have). Throughout the time I will be teaching them things, indulging their curiosity and gradually explain, reveal and open up things to them. Of course I’d also secretly monitor what they’re doing, not to judge but to make sure they’re safe, until I know they can safely navigate on their own. As for phones they’re getting something locked down with some custom ROM like /e/OS or whatever and just the bare minimum they need to function (Signal to talk to me and mom, calendar, alarms, etc). No social media for them, they at most get to see some of it via privacy frontends. I want them to grow up in a way that the internet is a place they can leave.

Once they’ve teenagers and understand things I’d start gradually letting them do their own things and gradually giving them more access, allow them to make mistakes and be sure to be there for them to learn rather than just punish. The goal is that by 18, when they’ll have full access, they’re digitally literate and can safely navigate on their own, or at least be as careful as 18yos can be. At that point they’ll also have to gradually start paying for their stuff on their own.

You couldn’t stop them if you tried, which instead will result on them using dodgy methods to access it, which puts them at even higher risk than if you gave them unrestricted access.

Teach them, teach them that the internet is both fucking terrifying and fucking terrific

Education education education.

Explain how the internet works. Explain companies. Explain evil intent and malicious behavior.

Imo, if you put your child under surveillance that’s not the right way. If bad things happen despite good education, fine, introduce limits and guardrails.

Don’t do things you wouldn’t want for yourself. Be consistent.

Basically, do good parenting.

I would love things down but leave increasingly difficult to exploit vulnerablitors so they can unknowingly learn more and more about networking and such

crontab, it’s enough to :

• kill any add during specific period
• accumulate usage per app
• check if tabs are opened

and it’s pretty straighforward to configure, e.g.

* 8-17 * * 1-5 killall SlayTheSpire && date >> ~/shame
# prevents from playing during weekday working hours

or for accumulation (which can be reset daily, weekly, etc by simply deleting the minutes file)

pgrep mpv && >> mpv_minutes; if [ $(wc -l mpv_minutes) -gt 1000 ]; then echo beyond threshold; fi

That works also for turning up/down network interfaces.

PS: I use this on myself. I’m not a child but I don’t have perfect self control. It works.

I have an 11 year old son. He has neutered Internet that can do normal searches on. An hour budget a day for games. An hour for YouTube. Other than that he can talk to his friends on Discord or text. I check his Discord every now and then. He only talks to his buddies or my gaming buddies.

When they figure it out and become capable of reading and writing. Tablets, phones and computers are not locked down. Parental guidening and open communication means they know what it is, that there’s good and there’s bad content and people etc.

Working great.

/Swedish

A friend had an excellent (but evil) one.

His son had found some more… interesting areas of the internet (aka porn). He collected a selection of his browsing history and sat him down. They then went, video by video, having an open and honest discussion about it. Dad had FAR more tolerance for mortifying embarrassment than his son did. He learnt to clear the history at least.

The 2nd discussion, 6 months later, used the router logs instead.

I’m not sure I would use this particular method. However, it was apparently highly effective at making his kids think things through (for better or for worse!).

Our policy was supervised / filtered only until early teens. Kids sites, educational stuff, games we purchased and approved of, etc. We were also late to give them phones, our son got his first because in his freshman year of high-school his band teacher set up a boiler-room to sell worlds finest chocolate and he was the only kid who didn’t have a cell phone.

When we had “the talk” we discussed masturbation and porn, why porn is popular, and all the negatives that go with it without condemning it outright. We talked about online predators and not sharing things with people you didn’t know, especially pics, addresses, etc.

My wife and I are firm believers that kids need space to discover who they are, so as they became teens, things went to semi-supervised. We paid attention to them more than their devices, but we had rules such as adding one of our emails as a recovery address to any socials they set up, so we could check up on them if we thought something bad was going down. Never had to use that, and I think just having it there made them think about what they did online.

Around sixteen/seventeen, no filter and no more backdoors into their accounts. Just a couple of long heart to hearts about how shitty things can be on the internet and how we’re there to talk with no judgement if they need us.

Access to the Internet is not something that the parents are actually capable of restricting. As soon as one kid in the has a phone, their entire peer group is exposed.

The question isn’t about restriction. It’s about who will be teaching these kids about the Internet. The first kid learns from their parents; every other kid learns (mostly) from other kids.

If your kid is the last in their class to have a phone, everything they know about the Internet they will have learned from their peers. They sure as hell aren’t going to tell you they already know about all the things you’ve been trying to hide from them.

ublock origin, no ads, only libretube or freetube

FOSS

Start educating them on what internet is and how it works early, before they even get to use it. Allow them to observe how you use it. Explain the good and the bad it can provide. I feel like a lot of how you should use the internet is just how you should generally live your life - stranger = danger, don’t give your personal information to anyone at all (even if they claim to be me/my friend/police/whatever), understand how content engagement works and who benefits from it (ads and manipulation are everywhere, not just online), and so on. Ngl I’m kinda baffled how we navigated a much more dangerous real world “just fine” up until the internet has apparently become some unfathomable evil. By not allowing your kids to learn early, you are just gimping their future, they will have to go up against people who often literally don’t know a life without the digital world. Not to mention - if you don’t teach them the basics of understanding how to navigate the world and its dangers, they can get hurt whether the internet still even exists.

My one opinion that might be controversial is that I believe that by enforcing arbitrary blocklists (outside of just generally useful stuff like uBlock Origin) and restricting content without explaining and demonstrating anything you are simply conditioning your kids to be ok with surveillance and censorship.