01:15 (AM that is, but using 24 hour time format doesn’t need AM/PM) here… zero sleep, listening to a bunch of depression music… :/

Living with family (family of origin, that is) but half of my family members are away… especialy mom…

You only learn to appreciate someone¹ once they’re gone… this time for 30 days… one day its gonna be forever… 🥺 (¹mom that is, Idk how to feel about older brother, still haven’t fixed the broken relationship since those series of fights about 7-9 years ago… )

Mom’s so busy with my brother’s marriage plans, haven’t have much time to talk to me. Idk what to even say on the phone… I just wanna hear her voice… I kinda have a panic attach if i don’t hear her voice or if she takes too long to respond…

I’m just feeling very suicidal rn

  • aramis87@fedia.io
    3·
    1 day ago

    Mom’s so busy with my brother’s marriage plans, haven’t have much time to talk to me. Idk what to even say on the phone… I just wanna hear her voice… I kinda have a panic attach if i don’t hear her voice or if she takes too long to respond…

    The people I love, I’ve started saving their voicemails offline, so I can remember their voices. Maybe you can do the same?

    • daggermoon@piefed.worldEnglish
      5·
      1 day ago

      I had a cassette of a voicemail my mom left for my grandma and I taped over it. I had backed it up to a .wav file but I lost it. I can still hear it in my mind. I’m sad about it. I suppose I could ask to record my mom’s voice but that would be weird.

      Edit: No, it was for my grandpa. She said “have mommy call me”. I think she was in college at the time. I miss my grandparents. Things seemed so much easier back then. Young me thought i’d have a happy life by now. I know it’s not too late but it’s getting there and I’ve been stuck in a rut for years now. It’s hard to climb out of the hole i’ve dug.