01:15 (AM that is, but using 24 hour time format doesn’t need AM/PM) here… zero sleep, listening to a bunch of depression music… :/

Living with family (family of origin, that is) but half of my family members are away… especialy mom…

You only learn to appreciate someone¹ once they’re gone… this time for 30 days… one day its gonna be forever… 🥺 (¹mom that is, Idk how to feel about older brother, still haven’t fixed the broken relationship since those series of fights about 7-9 years ago… )

Mom’s so busy with my brother’s marriage plans, haven’t have much time to talk to me. Idk what to even say on the phone… I just wanna hear her voice… I kinda have a panic attach if i don’t hear her voice or if she takes too long to respond…

I’m just feeling very suicidal rn

  • Wrongdoer2@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    Why don’t you also help with your brother marriage organization, so you get to spend time with her ? :)

    Also, please. Take care of you!!!

    For my part I have no motivation for my new work… I find it very boring and wait for the end of the day all day. Could be better could be worst I guess.

    • 「黃家駒 Wong Ka Kui」@piefed.caOP
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      1 day ago

      They’re in China… (my family’s country of origin)

      I don’t have a passport yet… submitted application still waiting for the US State Department… 👀

      Also requires visa from PRC Embassy…

      I thought it was too much hassle to have to deal with VPN and firewall issues and I didn’t bother…

      If I knew I’d feel this lonely, I might’ve tagged along

      That reminds me, haven’t been on a plane since we arrived in the US in 2010… 16 years away from my birth country… 👀

      Also my brother seems to think I’m trying to harm him or something… mom asked me to help with finding the cheapest plane tickets, then there was some webpage loading issues, then he just said he would just do it on his computer instead…

      And then I was curious and asked which seats he picked… I mean I’m always curious about stuff

      He didn’t respond…

      Like c’mon… it’s not like I’m gonna put poison on a plane seat lmfao… wtf bro?

      So yeah…

        • 「黃家駒 Wong Ka Kui」@piefed.caOP
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          1 day ago

          I mean quick online search mentions the idea of local facebook groups to find people to do meetups with…

          👀

          sigh

          Guess I’m selling my soul to corporate lmfao

          • vogi@piefed.social
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            23 hours ago

            I really dont think you need Facebook for that. You can just look up some bigger clubs in your area just by searching the web or even using wikipedia if its up to date. I myself have joined a computer club in my area fairly recently and its feels great to have some like minded people that are just as “weird” as myself. I know that getting into that can be daunting but it really is worth it.