I read a book a while back called “The Courage to be Disliked”. That title could be used for some manosphere nonsense but it was instead an overall positive book about determining your self-worth based on your own honest evaluation of yourself, with the goal of improving things that you otherwise make excuses for. It was helpful to me as someone who’s been a people pleaser with low confidence. Hearing that mantra reminds me of it. I think it’s certainly not universally applicable, but it can be good advice for the right person.