At what point is someone responsible for what happens to them when they refuse to respect boundaries? (this could apply to parents, siblings, family, friends, exes, etc.).
If someone tells you—clearly and repeatedly—to leave them alone, that they don’t want you in their life, to stop showing up, stop contacting them, etc., and you ignore all of that… what do you expect is going to happen?
If you keep pushing, showing up uninvited, refusing to take “no” for an answer, and basically forcing your way into someone’s life (when they make it clear they don’t like you and don’t want you in their life multiple tomes and are Minding their own business not bothering you), and they eventually snap and start verbally going off on you—are they 100% in the wrong?
Yeah, being verbally abusive isn’t great. But at a certain point, you chose to keep putting yourself in that situation. You ignored every boundary that was set.
So do you actually “deserve” sympathy at that point? Or do you share responsibility for pushing things to that level?
Not only that, but why are you trying so hard to be in someone’s life that clearly doesn’t want you in it? It’s so annoying and pathetic, and it just loses sympathy points for me.
Not only that, but why are you trying so hard to be in someone’s life that clearly doesn’t want you in it? It’s so annoying and pathetic, and it just loses sympathy points for me.
It’s like people of color or LGBTQ+ individuals who are super MAGA conservative and “sell their own causes out.” They go to MAGA rallies and conservative spaces and then get a shocked Pikachu face when the people there treat them like shit. WHY ARE YOU THERE???


There’s totally a gray area- if person A violates a boundary and person B bullies them into suicide, person B is not in the right and person A absolutely deserves sympathy. Person A still did something wrong, but that doesn’t make an inappropriately extreme response no longer inappropriate or extreme.
That said, I don’t know if there’s a lot more context that I’m missing and my example is far from what’s actually happening.
In that situation it sounds like both are in the wrong.
Yeah, definitely, that’s what makes it a gray area.