If you twist yourself into knots due to “failure” you essentially break the learning mechanism in your head.
Often this is due to shit parenting where your parent teaches you ideas of what success and failure are that don’t align with the real world. They burden your immature mind with fear, pain, and guilt, usually for trivial failures. Usually because they have their own baggage they never examined.
But some people accidentally do it to themselves, too, even if their parents didn’t go hogwild on the shame, guilt, and punishment game if they “failed” something.
Anyway … learning from experiences is a human superpower. When you get all freaked out about failure you basically cut out of yourself the mechanism humans use to be smarter than animals. Because you stop putting yourself in any positions where you might be challenged. You close your eyes to experiences where you might learn because you got too conditioned to fear feeling bad things if you “fail”. So you start to lose access to the rewards of trying, failing, and LEARNING from that failure in a way no book can teach you. The fear or failure gets in the way of your ability to learn, and that’s awful.
Learn from your failures, don’t lobotomize yourself with fear and guilt (as if failure is an express pass straight to hell that will damn you forever or something.)
And if you don’t know how to chill out with yourself yet, learning how to chill, maybe with therapy, or maybe by doing a lot of introspection, should be your number one priority. Life gets so much easier once you can roll with the punches instead of carrying a millstone of fear on your back every waking moment.
(Why yes, I have strong feelings about how having a fucked up mindset about failing can cripple one’s ability to learn…why do you ask? Lol)
If you twist yourself into knots due to “failure” you essentially break the learning mechanism in your head.
Often this is due to shit parenting where your parent teaches you ideas of what success and failure are that don’t align with the real world. They burden your immature mind with fear, pain, and guilt, usually for trivial failures. Usually because they have their own baggage they never examined.
But some people accidentally do it to themselves, too, even if their parents didn’t go hogwild on the shame, guilt, and punishment game if they “failed” something.
Anyway … learning from experiences is a human superpower. When you get all freaked out about failure you basically cut out of yourself the mechanism humans use to be smarter than animals. Because you stop putting yourself in any positions where you might be challenged. You close your eyes to experiences where you might learn because you got too conditioned to fear feeling bad things if you “fail”. So you start to lose access to the rewards of trying, failing, and LEARNING from that failure in a way no book can teach you. The fear or failure gets in the way of your ability to learn, and that’s awful.
Learn from your failures, don’t lobotomize yourself with fear and guilt (as if failure is an express pass straight to hell that will damn you forever or something.)
And if you don’t know how to chill out with yourself yet, learning how to chill, maybe with therapy, or maybe by doing a lot of introspection, should be your number one priority. Life gets so much easier once you can roll with the punches instead of carrying a millstone of fear on your back every waking moment.
(Why yes, I have strong feelings about how having a fucked up mindset about failing can cripple one’s ability to learn…why do you ask? Lol)