I dont want to live in this reality any more.

  • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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    18 hours ago

    Honestly, as a trans woman that doesn’t pass, there’s fewer than ten states where I feel comfortable existing.

    • CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world
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      17 hours ago

      Give yourself credit for bravery, fortitude and resiliency. As a hetero white cis male, there are zero states I feel comfortable existing in.

      • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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        18 hours ago

        Bravery doesn’t mean much when I just wanna exist without the federal government throwing its full weight against me, while riling up lone wolves and poisoning any sort of discussion and thought process among the public.

        • CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world
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          7 hours ago

          Respectfully disagree. It means everything. It is an unfair burden for you to bear, but your existence is a beacon of light for everyone who struggles with acceptance of diversity and seeks basic human rights. You are not alone.

      • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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        18 hours ago

        I do have a question though, when did cis become an acronym, and what does it stand for now? When I was learning English, I had learned that it was a Latin root, to imply “on the same side of”, like “cisisochemic” or “cisatlantic,” and is the opposite of trans, or “on the opposite side of.”

        At some point in the last few years, I’ve been seeing it capitalized in places, and I wonder why the switch? Unfortunately, when I look it up, I get a mismatched set of AI slop results and generated pages that say nothing coherent.

        • da_cow (she/her)@feddit.orgOP
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          17 hours ago

          It can very well come from Latin. Trans can be translated as “above”, “beyond” or “across”. Cis can be translated as “within” or “inside”.

          So someone who is Cisgender is “inside” their gender assigned at birth. Someone who is transgender is “beyond” their assigned gender at birth and now has a different gender.

          • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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            17 hours ago

            Yeah, but my comment said that I understood that, but I was wondering when it became an acronym, and what does that acronym mean.

            • da_cow (she/her)@feddit.orgOP
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              17 hours ago

              Trans is just the opposite of cis. Cis is someone comfortable in their AGAB and someone who is trans is not comfortable in thei AGAB.

              • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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                17 hours ago

                I understand the meaning of it when it’s written in lowercase. I mean, I’m trans. Came out a decade and a half ago.

                When I see it written in all capital letters, it’s an acronym, and I have no idea what that acronym means.

                • 🌈 vanta rainbow black 🌈@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                  4 hours ago

                  “cis” gets written in all-caps because cis people are fucking stupid and don’t give a shit about learning the right terminology. that’s the gist of it

                  sometimes they think it’s an acronym that means “comfortable in skin”

                • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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                  16 hours ago

                  You have more patience than I, you were very clear above. I am not sure why some people capitalize it. I think it’s just a weird mistake that people think seems right because it doesn’t seem like “English”.

                  • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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                    16 hours ago

                    I didn’t grow up speaking English and only learned it in my teenage years. It makes me doubt whether my skills with three decades of English are proficient or not.

                    でも、時々英語は本当に分かりにくい。しょうがない、ね?

                  • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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                    16 hours ago

                    Never mind, found a source that showed that sometimes cisgender people will write “CIS” in all capital letters to mean “comfortable in skin.”

                    Which is really weird, but it tracks.

    • TheFermentalist@reddthat.com
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      18 hours ago

      No such thing as doesn’t pass. You tell me you’re a woman? Who the fuck am I to question what you feel in your bones? In the spirit of the republicans making shit up to disenfranchise, I hereby declare that you pass. As whatever the fuck you want, whenever the fuck you want to.

      I will even print you a pass.

      • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
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        4 hours ago

        I appreciate the thought here, but it’s absurd to argue that passing “doesn’t exist.” Fine if you want to say it doesn’t or shouldn’t matter. Or that it gets too much focus placed on it. But to pretend passing simply doesn’t exist? This is just gaslighting. Passing obviously does exist. It’s specific definition would be “having an appearance that the vast majority of randomly selected people would say most resembles a gender other than that assigned to a person at birth.” That’s an objective fact. We can’t just wish it away because it’s inconvenient.

      • maplesaga@lemmy.world
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        10 hours ago

        What should the law be, everyone can use any washroom they want essentially, kind of a libertarian style system that removes all restrictions?

        • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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          10 hours ago

          Just one restroom. Stalls with urinals, stalls with toilets, floor to ceiling doors on all of them, and a communal sink area. Mox Boarding House has my perfect public restroom. Exactly like that.

          • Soggy@lemmy.world
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            4 hours ago

            When you have the space for it sure, but urinal stalls seem like an exorbitant luxury 99% of the time I need to pee. I’m fine with a wall-to-wall stainless steel trough.

            • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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              4 hours ago

              To give Mox credit in exorbitant luxury in bathrooms, there is a crystal chandelier over the sink, and no I’m not joking.

              • Soggy@lemmy.world
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                4 hours ago

                (Context for people not in the PNW, Mox Boarding House is a board game and card shop with an attached restaurant.)

          • maplesaga@lemmy.world
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            10 hours ago

            Why do you think we ever have different washrooms for men and women, what was their purpose for existing and how did they become so ubiquitous despite being an additional cost to businesses?

      • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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        18 hours ago

        In Oregon, today, in a performing theater of all places, as I entered the vestibule of the women’s restroom, some old lady said “are you sure this is the men’s room? Wanna go check the sign once again?”

        So that fucked with my whole day.

        I thought I looked good, looked stylish. 13 years of HRT is not enough apparently.

        There’s pictures of me on my userinfo page.

        • wia@lemmy.ca
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          2 hours ago

          “it’s the women’s, I’m a woman. Wanna go check it doesn’t read “brainless muppet” you rotten hag?”

          • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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            45 minutes ago

            I am far too polite for that. I’m the sort that stands off to the side of the sidewalk when a bunch of people are walking in the opposite direction, and in a line abreast, and I wait patiently for them to go past. I’m the kind of person that does a quick bow when someone holds the door for me. I’m the kind of person who takes as little space as possible, and tries to be mindful of the harmony needed for society to move along.

        • TheFermentalist@reddthat.com
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          17 hours ago

          That picture of you is fucking stylish.

          That is fucked up, and it’s absolutely shitty that you had to deal with that. My parents are the same sort of people. ( which is part of why I don’t talk to them).

          You need to know: if it wasn’t this, they would still find a way to be cunts. Trans is seen as an easy target, particularly with the republicans in power. If it wasn’t this, there would be something.

          This is the hard part: they want you to feel bad. It is their sole purpose in interacting with you. How you feel, only you have control over.

          I tend to brutal rudeness when interacting with people like this, using language they don’t tolerate, and being personal about it.

          That won’t work for everyone, and be mindful that law enforcement will back granny sour cunt over you, but be rude, be loud, embarrass them, because that’s what they are trying to do to you

          • backalleycoyote@lemmy.today
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            9 hours ago

            I live in Idaho and guarantee this will be used by chucklefucks to not only harass trans people, but cis women who don’t fit their standard of beauty and effeminate cis men. Not that they don’t already, but now they can really fuck with someone by calling the cops and disrupting the person’s day rather than just snide comments.