I’m so fond of sticking it to the corpos that I will hack your consoles and teach you Linux all out of the kindness of my heart. I even have a reputation for being the guy to call if you need help with literally anything because I probably already know how to do it.

I’ve been asked to feel weird lumps in intimate areas more times than I’ve been taken up on any of that.

I literally have terabytes worth of shows and movies but my entire family still insist on paying for Netflix. It’s like watching people turn down free money.