Mine is evaluated based on how many of them were there for me when I was at my lowest. It’d be unfair for me to evaluate them based on communication, because then that’d mean that everyone would be gone, so that’d be unfair. I also don’t think evaluating people based on what they gift you or do for you is adequate either. So, yeah, I think the clear line basis of me removing a friend is about sheer balance.
I don’t like friendships that are just unrealistic. Where they want only and nothing but the best from you and for you. Friendships are about enduring someone’s worst and figuring it through too. If you just push someone away all of the time and leave them in dormancy where their mind tends to wander into places it shouldn’t. That’s one of the worst things a friend can do and it can also include up to things like not talking to them just for a check up every now and then.
So again, if more friends have let me down or dropping the ball, then that’s probably my reason.
This is really solid advice. Sometimes, I see people with rose colored glasses and always give them the benefit of the doubt that things are accidents. Eventually, they’ll so something that is so blatantly not an accident, I can’t see them the same any more. Now, rule of thumb, I can’t be friends with someone capable of malice.
I had a friend I loved so much, it took me forever to see the real her, granted she was careful for many years to only show me what I wanted to see. When she revealed who she was, it took me a few years to come to terms with it. At first I thought she was going through a hard time. It wasn’t a phase.
I wish I had your advice then, because I took a lot of hurt before I finally gave up. She is who she is and loving someone a lot and being patient won’t change that and I was just getting clobbered like a fool in the process.