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Cake day: April 25th, 2026

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  • Our obsession with sports has always kind of flummoxed me. Don’t get me wrong, I love sports. Baseball, hockey, and basketball are in my Midwestern blood. But freaking out over the competitive sanctity of high school basketball or college swimming is just… like, dude. Maybe these things mean too much if that much is on the line. It is only a game, y u have to be mad?

    Of course it’s not about the sports, it was never about the sports, its about finding a scapegoat that doesn’t have the political power to fight back. Innocent people who just want to exist. But ah, no, we need penis detectors and hormone checks and we need to invade the privacy of children to… save the children from… other… children

    I know I’m not exactly steelmanning the transphobes here but do you think it ever occurs to any of them how fucking stupid they sound





  • I’ve never seen one but I’m pretty sure I’ve been stalked by a puma on more than one occasion. The silence is the most unnerving part. Just dead silence. The birds the squirrels, all of them suddenly stop yapping. Maybe you hear some snapping in the trees. Not a lot. Maybe one twig. And then you leave the area and thank whatever god you worship that attacks are really rare. If the cat wanted you the cat would have you.

    I have seen coyotes, and they’re not scary in the slightest unless you have a smaller animal with you. Coyotes are scrawny little bastsrds but they’re devious. I have heard stories about a lone coyote “playing” with a dog, and then luring said dog into the woods where it is then set upon by the pack. Probably just folklore. What’s not folklore is that they’ll absolutely eat your pets and livestock if you give them a chance. They are, in many situations, pests.

    I’ve not met a bear but I’m not looking forward to it.




  • Company’s that own a patent can release spores causing cross contamination, then sue a farmer at harvest for their crop containing copyrighted genes.

    No they cannot. This little bit of common knowledge is bullshit on several levels.

    1. nitpicky, but plants reproduce by pollen and seeds, not by spores. okay, since i’m being nitpicky potatoes and sugarcane don’t reproduce with seeds. potatoes are tubers and sugarcane uses cuttings. some plants reproduce with rhizomes but we usually don’t eat those. point is spores are for mushrooms and ferns and whatnot.
    2. the big seed producers pledge not to sue for trace contamination
    3. monsanto was preemptively sued by farmers in 2013 because the farmers were afraid of the windblown lawsuits and wanted to get monsanto’s patents on genetics struck down. court said no, because Monsanto could not be sued over a threat that did not exist. That is, Monsanto had never actually sued anyone for windblown genetics. But given the above point the court also said monsanto is legally not allowed to sue for windblown genetics. because they promised not to.
    4. copyright and patent law are two different things. seeds and their genetics are covered under patents. that’s either better, worse, or sideways depending on your perspective but it is different.

    big ag is evil and they fuck farmers over constantly but you don’t have to bullshit to make them look bad







  • I am in my mid thirties. Someday age will catch up to me on this front, but it doesn’t seem to have noticed me yet. I can still out drink most 25 year olds (which does not make me cool). Some of us are just Built Different, and by that I mean that through a combination of genetics, tolerance, and being, ahem, “big boned,” my body is fantastic at absorbing, buffering, and metabolizing ethanol. A blessing and a curse in equal parts. Other people will stop at two drinks because their body tells them to and they have the willpower to listen to that signal. My body never sends the signal. Unless I’m in a situation where I have to drive home, my internal “probably shouldn’t do that” doesn’t overcome the disinhibition. So on a Friday night at home with nothing to do I can easily knock back enough to still be drunk the next day and still not get hung over. Sounds awesome, except that the ability to process alcohol efficiently doesn’t protect me from alcohol being a carcinogen or neurotoxic.

    The simple antidote to all this, of course, is to not have the first drink. Which pains me, because alcohol rules.